When you become a grandparent you tend to automatically assume your children will treat their children the way you expect. This may not be the case and what you need to remember is that these are not your children and not your rules! Here are some tips to remember in your role as a grandparent
Love but do not Own - Your grandchild is not yours and remember this. Your children will have lots of advice for you on what to do with their child and you will often do things they disapprove of. Keep quiet and do as you are told!
Connect but don’t Overpower - Just because you have a new grandchild don’t put a halt on your life. This will not only affect you but will also affect the parents and child. You can still have plenty of access and spend time you’re your new grandchild and continue your life as before unless you are required to help more or have been asked to perform certain duties.
Follow the Rules - New parents will set rules to be followed with regard to their child. Follow these even if you don’t agree! Do’s and don’ts change and what you may have done or not may be quite different with the next generation and with the internet nowadays there are so many opinions and rights and wrongs let your children guide you in their ways.
Your Opinion is Secondary - As much as you’d love to lay down the rules this little baby will be brought up by their parents and, as much as you love, both the parent and your new grandchild, you have no say so seal your lips. However much you would like your adult children will believe they know best and you don’t. If you offer advice be careful how you do it unless specifically asked for
Accept your Access - If the new mother is your daughter you may get more access in the early days to the baby. If the father is your child this may be restricted, don’t be pushy. If you butt in and give unwanted opinions you may well find your access is restricted even more!
Don’t try to Compete - Both sets of grandparents should make sure they work together with the new parents and enjoy the grandchild. Splashing out on bigger presents, wanting more access or appearing to want to be better than everyone else is not going to do you any favours.
Don’t Raise your Expectations - If you don’t expect too much you won’t be disappointed. You will no doubt have plenty of time to spend with your grandchild and be able to make it good quality time but even if the family move away or circumstances change just ensure that if you have less time keep it quality.
At the end of the day the most important thing is to enjoy the family and the new addition and remember you have that advantage of enjoying the good times and handing your grandchild back to continue enjoying your own life too!
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